"She won't find out! There's no way!" she tried to convince him. She really needed to go see Lena before her active imagination began to create crazy scenarios. And she probably wouldn't ask in fear of the truth so she'd just think what she came up with, something dark no doubt. "It's more dangerous if I DON'T go see her. She'll think I abandoned her, or that I really AM hurt. Or worse...that I'm dead" she pointed out.
Andrew saw the doctor walk the other way while Lena's mother talked to the paparazzi. He slipped into Lena's room, and closed the door. He didn't want her mother in there. He wanted to talk to Lena. It had seemed like a lifetime, and he hadn't talked to anyone really in a whole day. He silently sat down in the chair next to her bed. "Hey Lena. How do you feel?" he asked her quietly. He realized that he was grinning like an idiot but he didn't really care. He was so happy to see her.
Jude reluctantly agreed, but not to her scheme. Eventually, Serena would have to see Lena. Now was not the time. "You're right," Jude admitted. "You should see her, or she'll worry. Just...wait until you're feeling a bit better. If you slip up, she'll feel worse than if you were absent. When you're better, there'll be a lower chance of that." He smiled at her. "It'll be okay, remember?"
"Like crud," Lena said, trying to smile but failling. Tears came to her eyes. She could still remember Andrew's hands reaching for her, grabbing unto air. She could see how his face twisted in horror. She knew that statistics said what they had wouldn't last. Even if it did, it would most likely end in divorce. Still...she couldn't help but think that maybe it would last. Maybe he loved her.
"But how long??" she asked desperately. Sitting here wasn't helping! She wanted to be doing something, be helping Lena. To see her face and apologize for her stupidity for real. So they could finally start over
He took her hand, something he'd been wanting to do since she let go of his hand at the bridge. It gave him relief that she was really there and he could hold onto her this time. His face softened from the smile into something between smoldering and loving. "I'm so sorry. Is there something I can do? Want me to get a nurse?" he said, unknowingly reaching up to wipe away an escaped tear. He did, then after the fact realized what he'd done but didn't jerk away. He didn't want her to get the wrong idea, but didn't want to expose himself but it looked like that was what he was doing...
"I don't know," Jude shrugged. He sat on the edge of the nightstand. "Not too long, or she'll worry anyway. But not so little time that you aren't well. You have to be patient, Serena," he said softly.
"No," Lena said, shaking her head. Even that motion hurt so much. Everything hurt, actually, but her heart was what hurt the most. It was breaking in two. She couldn't fall for Andrew, she couldn't, she had all these issues and a million other girls he could go out with. Lena could think of a dozen reasons why she shouldn't go out with Andrew, why she shouldn't trust him. Why she shouldn't trust anyone. "I'm fine."
She sighed. "Patience is not really my specialty..."
He didn't want to argue with her. He had this sudden want to tell everything but refrained, seeing something first. "While you...were asleep I talked to you. Could you...maybe...hear me?" he asked her slowly. He had told her he loved her, more than a friend, as she was in a coma (in so many words).
"Right. We'll work on that," Jude shrugged. "And by the time Lena sees you, she almost won't recognize you."
"No. What are you talking about?" Lena asked, groggy. She was suddenly irritated, for no reason at all. "Could you call the nurse? I'm...not feeling well," she lied. She just wanted him out. She suddenly wanted Andrew as far away from her as possible. Still, she knew he probably wouldn't leave. She'd be stuck with him.
She was horrified at such a thought. "No way! That's unacceptable! I have to see her soon. I feel fine Jude really!" she said, pleadig with him again. At least she was keeping her honesty to herself this time. She still didn't know why he was even back when yesterday was a disaster.
He knew he'd screwed up now. He shouldn't have tried. She hated him and only felt bad. She'd never love him. "Sure. No problem" he said, immediately dropping her hand and pushing the nurse button on the wall. "Im right outside if you need me. Just ask someone to come get me" he said quietly then swiftly left.
"Calm down, Serena," Jude said, taking her hand to silence her. "I was just kidding. We'll go see her as soon as you're better. You have to agree or I'll tell the nurses on you." He said the last part with a grin so she'd know he wasn't being serious.
Lena pressed a hand to her head as the tears threatened to overflow from her eyes. She had lied to Andrew. When she was in that coma, she had heard ever single word that Andrew had said to her. Every word. She just wasn't sure if she could take it. It was so...shocking. How could he love her that much?
Why would he want to?
She chuckled tensely. "R-right. Of course. I'll be good" she promised
He sat outside her room, hating himself. She would never love him or know he loved her. Why couldn't he have just sat there? It would be so much better if he just left then...he did. He convinced himself to leave...to get some food.
Lena pressed a hand over her eyes. Why couldn't she have succeeded? Why did she always fail at everything? It just wasn't fair!
"I guess that's alright..." Serena said, keeping her stress inside. Why did she have the feeling Lena was suddenly not alright. "But wait, she'll ask you where I am! Are you going to tell her the lie or what?" she asked, frantic again.
He got some food from Subway. He walked there then ate there, mentally cursing himself there and all the way back. He felt so along now, knowing Lena hated him. His existance was once again empty.
Jude hadn't thought that far ahead. He thought he'd pop in, grab a bite to eat, and be right back. He paused. Finally, he gave in. "Alright," he said. "We'll go see her. But only for a sec, alright?"Wasn't a nurse supposed to be coming or something? What was up with this hospital? Lena craned her neck to look at her nightstand. There was a pen. She wondered if stabbing herself with it would be enough to end her meaningless life.
Her eyes lit up. "Wonderful. Grab my clothes, quick!" she commanded. She had another bad feeling. What was she gonna do with Lena? She sat up slowly and still felt alright. "I only have about an hour til this starts to wear off, hurry"
The nurse walked in and tended to Lena's needs. (no idea what they would do for her...)
Andrew came back to sit down outside her room again. What else could he do but wait there. He smiled bitterly to himself. He would be the desperate friend who always loved her but never told her. They would be strained friends and he would die alone. How wonderful, he thought to himself.
"What are we going to do about the wheelchair?" Jude asked, looking down at Serena's only mode of transportation. "Lugging this around is kind of obvious, isn't it? And there's no way you can walk..."
"I can so walk! If you help me alot. If...you don't mind" she said blushing.
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